Ever given someone the silent treatment? Tried to make them jealous, or used a little guilt to make them see your point? We all have.
We use these tactics in our personal lives to guide people toward an action or a realization. And in that sense, sales is exactly the same. The problem is, we see "sales" as a dirty word, synonymous with unethical manipulation.
Let's get one thing straight. Manipulation happens when you lead someone to a decision that obviously hurts them.
Is your product or service a bad decision for your prospect? I didn't think so.
Your job isn't to manipulate; it's to be a choice architect.
You have to design the environment where your prospect makes a decision.
It's like building a Jenga tower – one wrong move, and the whole thing comes crashing down.
Here’s how to build it right.
Never force a decision
The moment you try to force a "yes," you lose all your power. True influence comes from being completely okay with walking away from the deal.
When you accept that you can't control the final outcome, you gain the freedom to hold your ground.
If a prospect says your offer is too expensive or lacks a deliverable, don't bend over backward just to please them.
Having a boundary and being willing to lose the deal gives you a much better chance to negotiate from a position of strength, not desperation.
Always have a plan B
Never corner yourself—or your prospect—into a binary yes-or-no situation. The best way to guide the outcome is by providing options.
Imagine a prospect asks for a precise quote. The wrong move is to think your only choices are "give the quote immediately" or "force a meeting." That's a trap.
The smart play is to create a third option. Ask clarifying questions to keep the conversation going, and then offer a meeting as a faster, more effective way to get them the detailed answer they need. You're not forcing anything; you're offering a better path forward.
Make it their idea
This is the master level of ethical influence.
The most powerful way to convince someone of an idea is to make them believe it was theirs all along.
Think about the difference between outbound and inbound marketing. With inbound, the decision to contact you feels like it belongs entirely to the prospect. They feel in control. But in reality, you designed that entire journey, ensuring they were exposed to your brand and expertise at just the right moments.
That's not slimy manipulation. That's masterful choice design.
So, how good of a choice designer are you?
I've designed a little quiz to help you find out. Want to test your skills? Take the test and let me know your score! ;)